Victor Camille Lebouthillier - Produits, offres, nouvelles

Many people feel powerless when relationship fractures occur and have not had any role modeling or training on what to do, which results in paying the high cost of unresolved fractures.

No matter who you are or what you do, everyone has struggled with relationships.

Personally I have worked for years to significantly improve my own personal relationships, through study and research, and find that I still have difficulty and much to learn. I guess it’s an ongoing learning process

Most of the greatest experiences a human being can have revolve around their relationships. Whether your relationship is with a friend, a co-worker or a spouse, these things we call relationships are the most powerful forces in our life. This is because the feelings we develop based on these relationships directly stimulates some of the deepest parts of the pleasure centers of our brains.

In fact, nothing impacts the pleasure centers of our brains as strongly as our relationships. Not nicotine, not alcohol; no illicit drug can cause us the same feelings of euphoria we get when our relationships are strong and nothing cuts us so quickly as when those relationships are troubled. In this way our relationships have the power to bring us some of the greatest pleasures and the greatest pain we will ever feel in our lives.

My wife and I went on a weekend vacation and didn't enjoy the hotel we stayed at, and the car broke down…it was a bummer. So we just didn't stay at that hotel again and got the car fixed and forget about it. But if my wife and I are having trouble communicating which ends up escalating to a small fracture in our relationship, it can begin spilling into every other facet of our lives and escalate us into 'catastrophizing'.

One guarantee in most every relationship is that you will get hurt, so the key is to for both people to get good at restoring fractures when they are small and new. But just as we might need to train for months before we run a marathon, we must also train ourselves to develop skills and disciplines to restore our fractured relationships. Relationship fractures cannot be restored with an hour a week of counseling. It takes commitment and dedication on our part to learn that it’s a process and not an event . We need to become aware of the roles we each play that contributes to the fracture, and the types of new behaviors required to create restoration.

Because relationships are so integral to our enjoyment of life we must be deliberate as to what makes them thrive and flourish. Those who do experience it, don’t just do so in an automatic-kind-of-way, but instead they make it an important value and deliberately put effort to make it happen. They also understand how to nip the small fractures in the butt so they don’t escalate into large fractures.

It's similar to when I taught my daughter to ride a bike. I explained that riding a bike is a great experience- it’s your first set of wheels. But during the learning process you will likely fall and hurt herself. With this advice she accepted it and was prepared that some pain would come, but the great experience would make it worth it and she was motivated to go through with it. It’s to bad we were not all warned the same way with our relationships and that we had someone who would run behind us holding the back seat of the bike while we were learning.

In life we are taught a great many things. How to ride a bike, how to drive a car and complex types of math. But very, very few of us ever receive any training in how maintain relationships and heal them when a relationship fracture develops.

In a Leap mentors team meeting one day we came to this profound but simple conclusion: people who commit to mentoring to develop new behaviors in relationships, get to experience the awesome experience a good relationship can provide. Committing to a mentoring experience can help you develop the skills and discipline that teach you how to restore fractures when they occur and to even reduce them the size of fractures that occur. But it does require more than an hour a week. I had a lady just last week ask, how long will it take for me and my boss to learn how to get along and stop all the conflict that occurs between us: my response was, first there is no guarantee. But if you can both commit to a multi strategy mentoring process and stick with it for 3 months, our success rate is 80%.

Have you ever done any formal training on increasing your relationship skills. If you were too, imagine what you could learn and how it could positively impact the relationship between you and a partner/friend/sibling/ Workmate/boss.

When you think about logic of increasing your relationship skills…it could become one of the greatest investment you ever make.

Visit here http://www.viclebouthillier.com/blog/ to learn more about healthy relation and mental health awareness.